Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
