He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
