Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
