remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
