It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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