I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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