Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
