I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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