..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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