there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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