Im at strip club and am horny
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
