writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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