Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
