i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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