I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
