p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
