It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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