Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
