I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
