my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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