all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
