i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
