I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
