Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you didnt know i had herpes?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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