K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
