You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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