I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
