she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
