she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
