i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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