i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
