New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
