my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
