well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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