Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
