the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
