Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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