he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
