Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
