Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my shit smells like andre
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
