yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
