He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
