my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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