Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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