Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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