Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
