He asked to "fluff my boner.."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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