Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
