Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
