Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she peed on how many people?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
