oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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