There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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