He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
